Living with Grief
Yours, or Another's
from the past, the present, or anticipating the future
Be Still
Invite Gentleness
Allow Rest
Breathe Again
Grief changes everything
How we think, feel, connect, work, hope, and make sense of our lives.
Whether your loss is recent or years old, loud or quiet, named or unnamed, related to a death or another type of loss,
you’re welcome here.
Create your village of safe spaces.
Gently ask:
Where does it hurt? Who am I now?
When we are
✦ witnessed rather than "fixed"
✦ accepted rather than masking
✦ nourished rather than cajoled
We find our breath again.
What Grief Really Is
Grief isn’t just about death. It includes the losses we rarely name,
but always feel:
• the end or change of a relationship
• estrangement from family or community
• the loss of health, energy, or cognitive clarity
• caregiving fatigue and anticipatory grief
• the “life you thought you’d have”
• spiritual rupture or shifts in belief
• identity grief - gender, sexuality, role, purpose
• chronic illness or disability grief
• loss through injustice, displacement, or exclusion
• bullying or crime or reconciling past traumas
• the ache of being unseen, silenced, or misunderstood
• the loss of a beloved animal companion
If you're grieving something not listed here, it still belongs.
Grief is anything that breaks your sense of
“how things were supposed to be.”
You know you are not the same person you were before.
Grief is a part of the bonds, values, and hopes we create.
It is natural, has roots in biology, and is unique to each person
and to each loss.
Grief is a social justice issue.
Grief is inherent in time, space, resources, experiences.
It is related to the loss itself
as well as access to care.
Grief vs Grieving
Grief is the natural response to loss. Grieving is the process of coming to terms with loss.
Mourning
An expression of grief or a time of grieving that follows a loss.
Pain vs. Suffering
Pain is immovable. Suffering is where we have the most power to adjust.
How Grief Shows Up
People often ask, “Is this normal?” Almost always, yes.
Within Your Self
• numbness, fog, or “not feeling like me”
• exhaustion, restlessness, overwhelm
• anger, anxiety, guilt, pressure to be okay
• losing direction, identity, or purpose
• feeling behind or unlike your old self
• memory issues, forgetfulness
With Others
• feeling distant or misunderstood
• avoiding conversations or flooded by them
• strain in partnerships or caregiving roles
• feeling responsible for others’ emotions
• wishing people understood
• feeling like a 3rd wheel
With the World
• questioning meaning, faith, or belonging
• disconnection from community
• hyper focused on daily rhythms
• loss of trust in systems or stability
• seeing grief inside injustice or culture
• feeling like life is too fast or too loud
If you see yourself anywhere here, your nervous system is doing its best to survive what happened.
What Makes Grief So Hard
Grief is Not Something to Cure
After a loss, we might grieve for the rest of our lives as we continue to process our feelings.
But, how our grief feels might change over time, and the ways that we grieve might change, too.
Loss knocks us to a place of non-language and a wide range of emotion.
It can also be difficult to articulate what we need, especially if we have been trained to "don't be needy."
It can also take a lot of energy to communicate in general, let alone specifically.
The goal is to create a compassionate relationship with grief, allow and support our self to emerge.
We learn to ask, "Who am I now that this has happened?"
Grief is not a problem to fix. It is a human response to a world that changed.
What hurts is not only the loss but:
• pressure to “move on” • lack of understanding from others • internalized shame about how long (or short) it’s taking • silence around certain kinds of grief • isolating stories about needing to be strong • pressure to grieve with enough emotion • the belief you must do it alone • the feeling you are erasing an important part of your life if you "move on" • the belief you must do it alone
You don’t have to perform being okay here.
Myth Busting
- No grief is like any other - there is no "I've been through this before"
- There is no "getting over it"
- Time does not heal all wounds.
- Grief expression is not proof of love, value, or connection
- There is not a set time limit on how long grief "should" last and no set list of Stages of Grief
Each grief experience is unique and support needs can be different.
You have the right to:
- decrease loneliness
- increase connection
- increase freedom
How I Support You
(grief is not an illness, a mental condition, or depression - it is Grief)
My approach is:
✦ Trauma-aware Understanding how your body, history, and coping shape your grief.
✦ Spiritually grounded Honoring your questions, doubt, meaning-making, and hope.
✦ Psychologically informed Offering clarity without labels or pressure.
✦ Justice-aware Naming losses shaped by culture, identity, and systems.
✦ Creative + intuitive Helping you express what words can’t always reach.
✦ Inclusive of all identities - like your background, culture, identity, queerness, faith, and family constellation
It all belongs here. You don't have to minimize your experience here.
Animal Companion Grief, Care, Decisions
If Your Grief Involves an Animal Companion -
The loss of an animal companion is profound - and often misunderstood. I offer a quiet, compassionate space for this too:
the anticipatory grief, the guilt, the aftershocks, the decisions and loss, the meaning of that bond.
Explore Related Support
Caregiver Support
Estrangement & Boundary Loss
When family connections shift, rupture, or disappear - the grief is real.
Explore Estrangement Support
Soul-Led Counseling
Your Next Step
If you’re unsure, tender, tired, or simply curious - start gently. A Clarity Session is a calm 60-minute conversation to help you feel into what you need next. You don’t have to know what to say. You don’t have to be “ready.”
You just have to show up as you are.
If words feel hard right now, you can also send a quiet message.
